All I Need: Rod & Daisy (All Of Me Duet Book 2) Read online

  “The wrapping paper is in Mom’s craft room. Come back here when you’re ready.”

  “Okay. Give me a minute and I’ll be right there.”

  In case Rod comes looking for me, I close the door behind me and start pulling out all the rolls of festive paper. Tracy and I coordinated one of our gifts, and I can’t wait to see everyone’s faces when they open theirs. When Marlee and I were growing up, my family’s tradition was to open one gift on Christmas Eve. We all knew what it’d be, though the pattern changed every year. Tracy and I are reviving that tradition this year and including our new extended family members.

  “Sorry that took so long. I tripped over the bathroom mat and dumped my purse out all over the place. I’m surprised the whole house didn’t hear all my cursing and yelling.”

  “What’s with your nerves? I’m supposed to be the one freaking out.”

  After a long sigh, she turns to face me. “Kevin and I aren’t getting along so well. Again.”

  “What—how can that be? You two are perfect for each other. What’s going on, Trace?” I put the gift paper down and give her my full attention.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, because we love being here with you and your family. But he started questioning why I won’t take him to my family’s house for the holidays again. We’ve only had this same conversation a million times, and I’ve reassured him of my feelings for him more than that. He takes my reluctance to go back there as an insult to him. It makes him question if I’m embarrassed to be with him because he’s white since the rest of my family doesn’t exactly accept Caucasians in their circle. Except my grandmother, of course.”

  “That he even questions if you’re embarrassed to be with him breaks my heart, Tracy. Look, your parents and older brothers never liked or accepted me, and I was only a little kid when you and I first met. I remember you had to lie to them to spend the night with me, saying you were at your grandmother’s house. She was the only one who wouldn’t stand for their blatant bias. Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “Nothing I’ve found so far. I’ve explained the entire problem with them, stressing that I’m nothing like them, until I’m blue in the face. Whether it’s the holidays or not, if we go anywhere near them, it’ll only cause more problems. Even I don’t want to have anything to do with my parents. Why would I purposely subject Kevin to them? His reasoning for wanting to visit them makes no sense to me.”

  “Maybe he thinks he can change their minds if he has the chance to talk to them face to face. From what I know of him, he’s a great guy. If anyone can help them to see past the color of his skin, he’d have the best shot.”

  “If my parents could change, I’d take him home to meet them in a split second. But since they’re impossibly hateful people. I won’t let them hurt him the way they did me growing up. I didn’t have a choice but to stay until we graduated. Then I got the hell out of there.

  “Anyway, this is a problem we’ll have to solve another day, because we have presents to wrap today. Tomorrow morning is Christmas Eve, and I can’t wait to see them when they open their gifts. Also, we need to figure out how you’re going to handle this little surprise you have for Rod.”

  She lines up the gift boxes and selects the wrapping paper for each one as she talks. It’s her way of remaining detached from the emotional toll even thinking about her family takes on her.

  “We’ve talked about what I’ll do already, Tracy. Why do I get the feeling you’re secretly happy about this baby?”

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about this, actually, so just remember you asked me. When you first told me you were pregnant with Landen, you didn’t share any of the details with me. Not about his father, the circumstances between the two of you, nothing. You love your son more than anything in the world, I know that, and so does Landen. But you were so cold and distant about being a mother until the first time you held him in your arms.

  “You’re definitely freaked out about being pregnant again this time, but it’s as if you’re a completely different person with the pregnancy. You’re smiling, laughing, joking—you’re truly happy for the first time in years. I don’t want to see you give that up.”

  “Who are you and what did you do with my best friend? This isn’t like you at all, and you’re freaking me out. You’re all peppy and optimistic about something that would make you fling yourself off the nearest cliff if it happened to you.”

  “But it’s not me, so I can enjoy your happiness.” She shrugs nonchalantly, as if her rationale makes all the sense in the world.

  Before I can respond with a witty comeback, the door opens and Marlee comes sashaying in with a smug grin on her face. Then she leans her back against the closed door and arches one eyebrow in my direction. Why do I get the feeling she knows something she shouldn’t know yet?

  “Something on your mind, Marlee?” I look away as soon as the words are out of my mouth. It seems as though my secret is only a mystery to one person in this house as it is.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, I have a few things on my mind. But one thing in particular has been bugging me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it until just now.”

  Was she in the hall listening to my conversation?

  “Yeah? What’s that?” My heart is thumping against my chest so hard I’m surprised she can’t hear it from where she stands.

  “We were just watching a movie. The main female character tries to hide major news from everyone while she’s visiting family. They pick up on small clues until, one by one, all but one figures out her secret. But eventually, she has to stop hiding and have her big reveal scene. Life imitates art, right? Now I know your secret, but I don’t know why you’d hide it in the first place.”

  My back is turned to her, but I still close my eyes and take a deep breath. Too many people know before I’ve had a chance to tell Rod. Someone is bound to let it slip early and ruin everything.

  “So, since Kevin and Rod just announced it to the entire house, I guess congratulations are in order.”

  I whirl around to face her, my bottom jaw touching the floor from shock. “What do you mean they announced it to the whole house? What did they say, exactly?”

  “They said Tracy’s pregnant, of course. What else would they say?”

  “Marlee, you need to start from the beginning and explain, please.” Tracy’s anger is cleverly disguised by her calm, even tone. But the bright red tinge coloring her cheeks is a stark contradiction.

  “From what I gather, Rod accidentally found your pregnancy test lying on Kevin’s toiletry bag. He thought Kevin already knew, since he saw it laying out in the open. Someone else in the family overheard the two of them talking about it, and within minutes, everyone knew. Then, Kevin stepped up and confirmed he’s going to be a father. So, congratulations, Tracy!”

  “Thank you, Marlee. But now I have to go murder my boyfriend. Please excuse me.”

  Tracy charges toward the door, prompting Marlee to jump out of the way just before Tracy grabs the doorknob. She leaves us alone with the slamming of the door behind her.

  “Wow. I didn’t expect that reaction out of her. Guess she’s mad because Kevin told everyone without her. Oh, no—I bet she was saving the news for a Christmas present and we all just spoiled it for her. Now I feel terrible.” Marlee rambles on about spoiling Christmas for Tracy and Kevin, completely oblivious to the panic attack I’m trying to control.

  Tracy has to tell him the truth, revealing the test was mine and Rod’s the father. That means Kevin will tell Rod since they’re best friends. How can I ask him to go along with this charade, even if I’m only trying to spare Rod and let him enjoy the large family Christmas he’s never had? I never dreamed this would get so far out of hand this quickly.

  “Whoa, Daisy, you don’t look so good. You’d better sit down. What’s wrong?” Marlee helps me to the chair, then kneels in front of me. She presses the back of her hand to my forehead. “No fever. Talk to me, little sis.”

&nbs
p; “Marlee, this is all about to blow up in my face. I’m not exaggerating or being dramatic. Just when we’re finally got on the same page and moving forward with our relationship.”

  “What are you talking about, Daisy?” She searches my face for the answer I’m ashamed to give.

  “The test wasn’t Tracy’s.” I wait for the judgment that’s sure to come.

  “Oh, sweetheart. I wish I’d known before barging in here and upsetting you both. I guess the congratulations are in order for you, then. Why haven’t you told Rod?”

  Because I can really use the advice, I break down and tell Marlee our entire story, from when we met until now, leaving nothing out. She needs to understand why our bond is simultaneously so tenuous and strong. By the end of my narrative, she’s wiping tears off both our faces.

  “Daisy, I don’t know if I should kick your ass or hug Rod’s neck. All these years, you’ve hidden what happened to you in college. That guy would be safer in prison, because I’ll kill him if I ever find him.”

  “You’ll have to get in line.”

  “Now you’re afraid to tell Rod you’re the one who’s pregnant, and he’s the father-to-be.”

  “I’m not sure how he’ll take the news, so I don’t want to tell him until after the holidays.” I shrug one shoulder, not completely convinced my own plan will work. “Plus, we have a big decision to make about the pregnancy. One that affects Juliana’s treatment options. It could mean life or death for her.”

  “He’s a grown man, Daisy. He can handle the truth, and it’ll definitely be better coming from you than from anyone else. You’re not giving him enough credit.”

  After we finish wrapping the rest of the presents, Marlee and I head downstairs to put them under the tree. Every step toward the den feels like I’m driving a new nail in my coffin. Have Tracy and Kevin already revealed the truth? What will everyone think? What will Rod say? So many questions fly through my mind at lightning speed, I’m not sure how I’m still breathing.

  As soon as I step into the room, my arms loaded with boxes, Rod jumps to his feet and takes the presents.

  “Here, let me help you with those, love.” The same smile that makes my stomach turn flips and my heart race is still intact.

  When I glance over at Tracy and Kevin, she gives me an almost imperceptible nod and wink, letting me know everything’s okay. When my eyes wander over to Kevin, I realize nothing is okay. The North Pole itself isn’t as cold as the glare he’s giving me. Now I have no doubt she explained the situation to him and asked him to go along on my behalf. He’s caught between supporting his girlfriend and lying to his best friend.

  I’ve put him in an impossible situation.

  Then my gaze moves to Juliana, and I realize this is the first time I’ve seen her today. She’s visibly paler than she was yesterday. Her movements are sluggish, as if it takes all her energy simply to sit upright and carry on a conversation. There’s no way she’s as well as she claims. She’s getting worse right before my eyes, and with the way Rod keeps glancing over at her, he knows it too.

  I sit next to Juliana, hoping to gain more insight into her condition and her state of mind.

  “How are you today? I didn’t get to see you before Tracy dragged me out on a shopping excursion with her.”

  “I feel pretty good today. I’ve taken a couple of naps to recharge my energy. You know, I’m really enjoying the time with your family. Your parents are the absolute best, and they’ve both adopted me. I’m not at all opposed to changing my last name to Nash.” Her voice is soft, but her smile is still as warm as ever.

  “They’re both crazy about you. They’d take you to the courthouse and sign the papers to officially adopt you today. Seriously, you should consider them as family, because they’re not kidding when they say that. Along those same lines, I should’ve asked if you wanted to go shopping with us this morning. I’m sorry we didn’t. That was rude and insensitive.” I was so focused on getting the test which has now caused nothing but trouble, I didn’t even consider Jules would want to go with us.

  “Don’t even go there, Daisy. That wasn’t rude of you at all. You’re allowed to go shopping with your best friend without worrying about me. To be fair, I wouldn’t have been able to go anyway, then I would’ve felt bad for saying no.”

  “Jules, what can I do to help?” She says she’s fine, but I know better. Pretending for my benefit doesn’t help either of us.

  She hesitates for a moment, but she knows her charade isn’t fooling me.

  “Rod doesn’t want to face it, but I’m getting worse, Daisy, and I don’t expect my health to improve suddenly. He’ll have to accept it sooner or later. Promise me you’ll be there for him. That’s the best help you can give.”

  “You have my word. But this doesn’t mean you’re giving up, does it?”

  “He already made me promise not to give up yet.” She chuckles lightly and shakes her head. “No, I’m not quite ready to throw in the towel, but it’s not always up to me. I’ll fight to stay with Isa as long as I have breath left in me. But when the time comes, we all have to accept the inevitable.”

  Knowing I hold the ultimate solution, how am I supposed to live with myself while she’s dying?

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Daisy

  Rod is still sound asleep beside me when I wake early Christmas Eve. I slip out of bed to shower and dress quietly in the bathroom so I won’t disturb his rest. He had so much fun playing with the kids last night. They roasted marshmallows and hot dogs by the pool, then he played with them in their camping room and let them pile on top of him while eating popcorn and watching movies until they passed out.

  Kevin never spoke to me last night unless it was to answer a direct question. Tracy noticed, but no one else said anything if it was overtly obvious to them. It was to me, though, and I want to make this right. Or at least make him understand the reasons behind the lies. As I step out of the bathroom, I stop to watch Rod sleep for a minute. He looks content and stress-free in his dream world, so I silently leave the room.

  When I walk into the kitchen, I find Kevin at the table, sipping a cup of coffee and enjoying the early morning quiet time before the rest of the house starts moving about. I slide into the chair beside him, fidget with my fingers for an awkward minute, then sigh loudly.

  “We need to talk, Kevin.” I start my unprepared speech, but immediately stop talking when he cuts his eyes over to me.

  “So you can officially recruit me as an accomplice against my best friend? What, putting me in the middle, making me choose between Tracy and Rod, isn’t enough for you?” His words cut me to the bone, but I don’t know if Tracy has had the opportunity to tell him everything yet. “I’m already in a no-win situation, so I’d appreciate if you didn’t make it worse.”

  “I never meant for this to happen, Kevin. I’m only waiting until after the holidays to give Rod and Juliana what they’ve never had. They’re so happy right now, and I don’t want to be the one to take that away. It’s not as if I’m never telling him. All I’m asking is for you not to say anything about this for a week. Then he, Juliana, and I will have to decide what to do next.”

  His eyebrows furrow and his eyes crinkle at the corners. “I’m lost. Why would Juliana have to weigh in?”

  “I was afraid Tracy didn’t have a chance to tell you everything. The oncologist’s office called to tell me I’m a match for Juliana, but the nurse said I can’t donate bone marrow right now because I’m pregnant. That’s how I found out—because their blood test showed it. Now I’m watching her die, Kevin. She’s getting worse. She said so herself last night. So, it’s only right that she’s included in the discussion of whether to terminate my pregnancy to save her life. How can I ask either of them to make that decision on Christmas Eve? That’s why I’m asking you to give me a few more days to tell them. I can’t ruin yet another holiday for them.”

  “Oh shit, Daisy.” He scrubs his hand over his face and holds it there for a moment b
efore continuing. “You’re right, you’re right. That wouldn’t be fair or right to expect of anyone. Tracy didn’t tell me that part because I wouldn’t let her. That’s on me. I’m so sorry I thought the worst of you. This situation makes so much more sense now, and I feel stupid for doubting your intentions. You have my word I’ll keep my mouth shut and go along with this until you’ve had a chance to talk to Rod and Juliana. Let them enjoy their perfect holiday. It may be their last.”

  He takes my hand in his, a friendly gesture to show his support. “Just so you know, my heart is breaking for you right now. If there’s anything I can do to help manage Rod, I’m happy to help. I was so excited when I thought Tracy was pregnant. In my mind, that sealed us as a couple, and I wouldn’t have to worry anymore about her not being as into me as I am her because I don’t fit in with her family. Then she told me the test wasn’t hers, but I had to keep it a secret. That made me question everything I believed about us all over again.

  “But I see things more clearly now. You don’t have to worry about me telling Rod anything. I’ll go along with this story as long as you need my help. I don’t envy the choice you have to make.”

  “Thank you, Kevin. You don’t know how much I appreciate it. I’m doing the best I can to get through each day. All I need is another week, and I’ll make everything right. I won’t let him blame you. I’m not sure how yet, but I’ll do something.”

  “Don’t worry about that. I can handle my friendship with Rod. You just focus on taking care of yourself.”

  Easier said than done.

  “But there’s something you should know. Tracy is absolutely all about you, Kevin. She loves you, and she doesn’t care what her family says or thinks at all. She wouldn’t leave you because you’re not a black man, because you weren’t raised by a black family, or because of what her crazy family thinks. There’s more than one reason why she’s not at her family’s house on Christmas Eve.